What follows is an actual transcript of the events around 3AM, on November 7, 2008 in the Belmont Shores area of Long Beach, California, in the alley near the intersection of Ocean and Bay Shore.

The author was up late, writing, and began transcribing the events as he heard them.

*Tires spin and an engine revs. The sound is very brief, lasting less than a second.

First Male Voice: Come here.

Second Male Voice: Uhh… Are you serious?

FMV: Come down the stairs now.

SMV: Seriously? I live here man.

FMV: Come here now.

SMV: Jesus! You’re pointing a gun at me!

FMV: Come down the stairs and get on the ground now.

SMV: (emphatic) YOU. ARE. POINTING. A. GUN. AT. ME!!

FMV: Put your hands behind your head.

*Several seconds of silence follow and then..

*The unmistakable crackle of an electrical arc.

Female Voice: Oh my god, they killed him!

SMV: (Screaming, not dead but clearly in intense pain)

FMV: (speaking in a low murmur, indistinguishable)

SMV: (Still in obvious pain, through tears) I fucking live here man, I fucking live here. This is my door. Twenty Bay Shore, Apartment Nine.

*followed by roughly thirty minutes of “I live here” and several other police cars arriving. In the end nobody was arrested and they all drove away.

So I don’t know exactly what happened, but I’m guessing one of my neighbors got tazed tonight. Gosh don’t you wish you lived here.